Contemplation Camp Thanksgiving — Danielle Ruth Malapitan

I thank God for the opportunity to experience His love greater and deeper thru this camp. Recently, I was wandering and wondering over my life purpose. Yet thru the sessions, God spoke to me as I communicate with Him and as others pray & speak to me too. I was encouraged and affirmed even more of the truth that I am God’s chosen, that I am His precious child, and that He has called me for a wonderful purpose.

There was one daytime session when my feelings of rejection, in different levels, were dealt. I felt rejected by the world and felt not good enough when my pursuit towards my career became rough. I felt rejected by God Himself when my prayers and desires were not answered the way I wanted it to be. After committing to serve, there will be times when I feel not affirmed even by significant people; I would feel discouraged and that’s another level of feeling of rejection. Then instead of expressing all these, I tend to keep it all on my own and rationalize just to make me feel better without bothering others including God. That means, I’d end up rejecting my own thoughts and feelings. Then I’d find it hard to be real and authentic before God and people.

So in that session, the facilitator helped me on how I can communicate with Jesus better. She affirmed me that Jesus loves me, that He sees whatever I feel and willingly accepts it all. In that moment, I spoke like I was talking to Jesus face-to-face and expressed what I feel. That I feel sad, disappointed, and frustrated for certain things. That I just want for His clear message and direction for me, for His encouragement and affirmation whether I’m on the right path or not, for His confirmation to where am I really heading. Because I’m tired of the feeling of being lost and frustrated also.