How to Be a Father?

This generation is a fatherless generation. Men need fathers: their presence, protection and guidance are essential. How can we be fathers under the Tree of Life, facing the needs of our biological and spiritual children?

We are to begin with accepting our own fathers. I longed to have a father during my growing-up years. My father left home and abandoned us when I was four months old. When I was in my third year of Primary school, there was the Anti-Chinese Movement in Indonesia, and my father came back home suddenly, bringing with him a new family. We were living in the resettlement area then, and had to make room for them to stay. A month later, they disappeared unexpectedly. I was abandoned again.

When I was 23 years old, my mother was dying, and my father returned. My mother asked me to call him “Daddy”, and I obeyed. It was never easy to rebuild a father-son relationship with him, but I had to learn to forgive. In those days I kept reminding myself: “If I don’t accept my father, then I can never accept myself.” I began to know this truth since I came to Christ. I was determined to follow the truth and to forgive and accept my father. Later when I went to Canada and came back Hong Kong, I was already 47 years old. I continued to love and accept him, and I developed a better relationship with him.

In the process of teaching my disciples and co-workers to love their fathers, I keep telling them that our older generation have been through lots of hardships. They were in poverty and were helpless during the time of great turbulence. They had their own difficulties to face. So we have to understand them, and forgive them.

In the past, I sought a spiritual father too. I had asked others to father me – but I was rejected with coldness each time. Even worse, I was used and sacrificed by some. But I didn’t take revenge. Instead, I sacrificed myself for their good. I love each one in this way, because I believe God is there.

I have been through this tough road, and understand the inner struggles of many people. I know how hard it is to be fatherless. I look at my spiritual children with the pure heart of God and accept them, to let them feel at home. They no longer need to fend for themselves. Of course I am also honest with them, and point out their shortcomings. I believe God is always in control. So if they don’t give up and leave, I will never give up on them. I believe that they will change, as I always have hope in God.

Today, my children are good to me and this is a great blessing. I’m grateful for God’s everlasting presence. Dear brothers, whether you are a father to biological or spiritual children, embrace this role! You will be greatly blessed and be a blessing to this generation. Happy Father’s Day!■【2021.06.20】